The best way to change your habits.

Imagine this: You have set yourself an audacious goal. Goals that are really outside your comfort zone. Something like waking up at 5am everyday, running 50km or even going gym on a regular basis. It’s hard to say the least. What makes it hard and how can you make it easier? I’m about to let you in on a secret: It’s not about the goal but your identity.

Incorporating a good habit is difficult for two main reasons:

1. We change the wrong thing about the habit.
2. We try change the habit in the wrong way.

Understand this: there are three layers of making and maintaining a good habit.

The outer layer: Outcome or goals change — this level is concerned with results.

The middle layer: Systems or processes — This is the level of your habits and the way you do things to achieve the desired result.

The inner layer: Identity based — This level is about your belief systems.

Each layer is has its own unique value. In order to make a real change and push for good habits, we need to focus on the most inner layer first. Rather than changing the outcome which is extrinsic motivation, we ought to change intrinsically. You can change goals and habits but if it doesn’t align with your identity, it will not last. You haven’t associated it with your beliefs.

“The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity. It’s one thing to say I’m the type of person who wants this. It’s something very different to say I’m just a person who is this.” — James Clear, Atomic Habits

True behaviour change is changing ones identity. It’s like asking someone if they smoke: there is a huge difference in someone saying that they don’t smoke as opposed to someone that says that they are trying to stop smoking. One completely removed it from their identity and one still associates with being a smoker.

What does this mean? So next time you have a goal of for example reading a lot of books throughout the year. Stop and think, once I finish this book what happens next? The goal is not to finish a book, the goal is to become a reader. Another example might be: the goal is not to go gym 4 times a week, the goal is to become a healthy person. Embody identity rather than goals and systems and you will maintain it for longer. Remember: No single instance will transform your beliefs. This is one reason why meaningful change does not require radical change.

There are two ways you could change your identity:

1. What are your values and principles? What type of person do you want to be? Who is the type of person that could get the outcome you want?
2. Prove it to yourself with small wins. Go for a short jog. Open a book and read a paragraph. Go to the gym for half an hour. Small wins will make you feel like you are embodying that particular identity you are trying to cultivate. Marginal gains compound into huge changes over time. Trust the process.

The focus is always trying to become that type of person and not the outcome. The outcome in the short term is irrelevant. You have a choice in every moment: to identify with your new beliefs or to stay the same person you are. The choice is yours.

Ps- I got this idea from one of favourite books called Atomic Habits by James Clear. This is a condensed chapter of the book.